Benny Kowalski
Comedy & Crime BeatSpent years writing for late-night TV before realizing that real life is funnier than anything you can make up. Now covers the absurd side of the human experience.
Articles by Benny Kowalski
Why Your Spontaneous Dance Party in D.C. Is Technically a Federal Crime
Under National Park Service regulations, dancing without a permit on federal land in Washington, D.C. is a federal offense. Yes, really.
Why Nobody Studied the Trait That One in Three People Have
Hitchhiker's thumb—a bendy genetic trait visible in 25-35% of humans—has been almost completely ignored by modern genetics since 1953. Nobody knows why it actually works.
Hippos Are Technically Flying Animals, and Here's Why That Matters
Hippos achieve flight for 15% of their running stride. No, really. Here's the physics that makes the wetland's heaviest mammal an accidental aviator.
The Carjacker Who Mastered the Gun but Not the Clutch
A 17-year-old successfully threatened a driver at gunpoint to steal her car, then abandoned it seconds later because he couldn't operate a manual transmission. Sometimes the obstacle between you and crime is just... a pedal.
The Robber Who RSVP'd to His Own Crime
A muffler shop robber didn't just announce his intentions—he left his actual phone number so the manager could call when the safe was ready. Yes, he was caught.
The Fugitive Who Hid Upward Into Custody
A Memphis murder suspect thought an attic would be the perfect hiding spot. Gravity and drywall had other plans.
A Dog Is the Actual Mayor of a Minnesota Town, and Yes, She Has Duties
Khaleesi, a Great Pyrenees, was elected honorary mayor of Cormorant, Minnesota in 2024—and she takes her job seriously enough to show up for parades.